One day as I strolled through the grocery store with my husband, I had suddenly remembered that I needed to find one of those small flat batteries that never seemed to be in stock when I wanted one. My bathroom scale’s battery had died the day before, which almost set me into a panic, since I was used to weighing myself more than once a week. Yes, I know you shouldn’t weigh yourself more than once a week but there you have it. I had gone to two different stores the day before but the particular battery I needed wasn’t in stock in either and it was quite upsetting. More upsetting than it should be, I realized. It made me think about how much I relied on that bathroom scale to tell me if I was “good or bad” and I didn’t like idea of it having so much control over me, but just as quickly, I thought, “I’ve got to find that battery!”
As we walked around I was excited to have finally found the type of battery I was looking for. I reached out my hand and pulled the small package from the hook, but when I did, I hesitated. I held still for a moment and within seconds I changed my mind. I put the battery back on the hook and I looked at my husband and said “Screw it, I don’t care anymore.”
I decided right then and there that I was tired of being beholden to a number on a scale. For some reason in that very moment I thought that I would try not weighing myself for a while and see how I felt. I already knew by the the size of my clothes and how they fit on me if I gained or lost weight so as long as I didn’t gain to the point I couldn’t wear a particular size or my favorite jeans anymore then I knew it would be time to lose some weight.
I have been without a scale for well over a month now and I don’t see myself going out to buy that battery, which will bring up those black digital numbers declaring my failure or success, anytime soon. I’ll admit there are some days when I know I haven’t been eating right and I feel heavier and I want to immediately strip down, step on that truth reader, and then berate myself for eating too much that week. However, I haven’t given in yet and I’ll admit it feels kind of good. There are times when I’d really like to know where I’m at with that “magical” number I feel I need to stick with and then other times I’m really glad I don’t have to face it. The real challenge is putting on the jeans that I know should fit comfortably but feeling them a bit snug and seeing a small muffin top rising over the waist line. If that happens though, then I start watching what I eat and how much I eat. I then try on those jeans a week or two later and see where I’m at. So far it’s working.
Now, I won’t say I’ll never go back to the store and grab that little flat battery for my bathroom scale, but for now, I’m going to see how long I can last. For the moment I feel as though I have given myself some much needed freedom and relief from that silly number owning me!
Would you or have any of you walked away from the scale? Tell us your experience.