After A Great Date, Should I Text?

To text or not? You decide to wait for him to text you, but do you really have to?

We answer the standard post-date question once and for all.

Okay, so you’ve gone on that first date, maybe even a second or third. You hit it off and you’re floating on a cloud, feeling hopeful and excited. Your heart is open and your brain is flooded with thoughts of possibility.

But then, the post-date jitters set in. Your thoughts begin to sound a little like this, “Should I text or should I wait an hour? Or a day? Maybe I should just say, ‘thanks for the date.’ No, I should always let the guy text first. I don’t want to seem too needy.”

Sound familiar?

There’s a lot of advice in the dating world about how soon you should text or call after a date. Many of these rules seem to follow the idea that if you show your feelings or express your interest too soon, you’ll appear needy or desperate. So, you wait… to seem disinterested. You may purposely wait to respond to a text to give the impression that you’re not too into this. You create distance, when your heart says, “I want to reach out to this person!”

Truth be told, there is no magic timeline for texting. There are three reasons why it’s important to stop worrying about this and just text if you want to text after a date.

If you want someone who likes commitment and contact, then act like it.

If your goal is to find a partner who is comfortable with communication, intimacy and commitment trust that it’s okay to expect this. There are plenty of open, communicative people in the world who will feel the same.

Think about it, if you aren’t sharing your feelings and communicating openly with a prospective partner, because you’re afraid you’ll scare him or her away, then you may be giving off the false impression that you are okay with a more distant style of communication and intimacy between you. This will lead you into the danger zone of opening your heart to someone who isn’t on the same page as you when it comes to communication.

If you like frequent texting or contact in dating and relationships, it’s better to be honest about it up front. You’ll find out quickly if someone feels the same. Wouldn’t it feel better to feel confident sending a text that says exactly what you feel or think after a date?  It’s rather simple, just text when and what you want to text, and you will find out if this person is a match for you.



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